i hate the feeling of hating to be who I am.
i tear at the yearning to be someone else.

I tried to encourage
in the end I get discouraged

Lord...................................
Lord, in the shadows of your wings here I take refuge
you gave me them to be thankful for.
you let me feel appreciated
to have that least bit of strength to pen that letter
you gave me a job
you first loved me.
You made me feel cared for.
You let me know you.
you let me know you existed
you let me know you
died for us but has now conquered death and is our living God.
You are good to me
You are the song in my heart when I'm crying.
YOu made me tear
You make me laugh
Lord I dun wanna cry
I dun wanna remember things that ought to be left behind


I am disobedient.
I am struggling
I'm searching
I'm absorbing
I'm tearing
I'm learning
I'm trying.
i'm trying.....
i'm trying.

there is so much I wanna let go, let out from my heart.
How can I complain
when I know you have suffered so so much then?
I'm struggling,
i really am.